This article was originally published on EventMB & reprinted here with permission.
As we grow and become super #eventprofs, there will always be times where our confidence is shaky. By understanding how to battle confidence killers along the way, you can successfully defeat them!
Being confident is an important aspect to being a successful #eventprof. Every once in awhile, though, you may find your confidence slipping. While it is always easier said than done, one of the first steps to regaining that confidence is to recognize what is killing your confidence. If you know what to look for, you can usually pinpoint it to certain scenarios in your life.
While in theory, this seems simple. The reality is that these situations may be difficult to recognize. If they have been happening for a while without you noticing, they may have become habit and part of your normal routine. Take a step back and look at your typical day. Analyze the daily situations, looking for confidence killers. Below are just a few confidence killers for you to look out for.
Surround yourself with positive people and positive thoughts. Without being aware of it, it is very easy to get sucked into that negative atmosphere, especially when it is constantly all around you. Whether it is their words, their general attitude, or even their body language, be vigilant and do not let negative people control your day or your thoughts. Once you can realize and recognize the negativity around you, you can choose whether or not you let it affect you. Pay attention to your own words and actions as well, to ensure you are acting, behaving, and thinking the way you imagine yourself acting. Here are some top tips on how to be a positive #eventprof.
When you are constantly around negative people, it becomes difficult to find positive things anywhere. Negative people will always come up with problems for every solution. This will eventually lead to how you feel about yourself, and a drop in your own self-confidence. On the other hand, positive people will come up with solutions for all of the problems, which will result in more confidence!
2. Worrying - Lack Of Control
As #eventprofs, we are typically alphas, and like to be in complete control. Life is not that simple, though, and there are often situations out of our control. When you experience a lack of control, don’t let it impact your confidence. There will be many times where someone else (boss, client, …) will be making the decisions, regardless of your strongly-voiced input. These people will generally not listen to anyone relevant anyways, so don’t let it bother you. Keep moving on. Don’t doubt yourself because of their opinions. Remember that you are skilled and a super event planner. Get their decision (and your thoughts) in writing and move on. Be confident in yourself and work to alter the situation to “save” it. Work out some emergency plans and strategies. Prove to yourself that you are awesome and can handle anything!
3. Worrying - What Others Say
If you are working with a good team or leader, positive criticism should be an ongoing and open conversation. It should never be personal. If it does becomes personal, remember that you can choose what hurts you. Let it go. Don’t give it any thought.
If someone criticizes or critiques me, my first step is to see if I admire or even look up to that person. Does their opinion even matter to you? If you step back and take a look at the situation without being emotional (this is the hard part), their opinion is probably worthless. I have found that I enjoy and accept comments from people I admire, as I am eager to gain more knowledge and grow.
When it comes to confidence, it starts and ends with you. You are the only one that knows your story, what you have been through, and what you have accomplished. You are the only one that is truly qualified to critique you. Be confident with yourself and remember that you are always growing. Regardless of what people say, you are the true measure of success.
4. Fear of Failure
This is a tough one to manage, but if you are able to change your way of thinking, it is possible. In a previous article about Overcoming Imposter Syndrome, we mentioned that making a mistake does not make you a failure. While we never want to make mistakes, it is important to realize that mistakes and bad decisions do happen. Accept them. Fix them. Learn from them. Move on. Don’t let it happen again. Mistakes and failures should be confidence boosters because you know you will have learned that lesson and won’t ever do it again!
Sometimes, dealing with micromanagers can also give us a fear of failing. Regardless of how good you actually are at your job, these managers will slowly destroy the confidence you have in yourself. If you are in a micromanagement situation, remember to stay honest, but confident in yourself.
I have never met an #eventprof that did not want to create a perfect event! There does need to be a limit to your perfectionism, though, especially when it gets in the way of production. Start by evaluating your goals. Make sure you have realistic goals, expectations, and time frames. It is also important that you communicate the reasons for those goals to everyone on your team. Unrealistic demands and expectations are always a precursor to failure, and generally do not motivate anyone to work harder.
Another problem lies when we live by the “all or nothing” rule. If a mistake happens, try to not be too hard on yourself. Even if that one mistake feels like it ruined the entire event, it probably did not. Don’t ignore it, but don’t forget about the things that went well, either. Help your confidence out a bit with at least partial credit for all the other good things you did!
6. Ride Outside Of The Comfort Zone
While we like to stay in our comfort zone, don’t be afraid to step outside of it and explore new things. The more time you stay isolated in your small comfort zone, the less confident you will become doing other things. Continue learning and expand your comfort zone to as many different areas as possible! While you may be nervous stepping into something new, these new adventures will eventually help build your confidence and help you adapt to change more easily.
We are all works in progress. While we may have an image of who we are, it is more likely who we want to be - or who we are working on becoming. Trust in yourself, though. Believe in yourself. Remember that a mistake is just a mistake. It does not make you a failure, and should not impact your confidence. Your confidence should grow with each mistakes, criticisms, or new adventure we come across. Keep moving forward. Most importantly, surround yourself with positive people! This will make it much easier for you to become and stay a more positive and confident person yourself.